when you start going to open houses on your days off together.
#startedfromthebottomnowwehere …thanks for the hashtag, Drake!
Poetry Post: Andrea Dorfman - How To Be Alone
Fall in love with being alone.
Yes, I said it. Most people will not agree. In fact, majority of women (and men) out there hate being vulnerable to what their heart says and choose to be logical instead of risk the emotional. Because who really wants to be sitting on their couch with a tub full of ice cream watching Serendipity or Never Been Kissed over and over and over again… No one. Well, except for me.
I have always thought (no pun intended) that the heart was smarter than the mind because of its production of passion, that burning desire to take that leap of faith and put everything on the line, gambling the outcome. Now contradictory to what I believe in, I am and never will be the “casino” type of girl. I’m talking about the risks in life that you take because you listened with your heart. It’s that choice you made of the bad guy over the good guy; The not-so-steady career over the million dollar income; The savvy SUV over the fuel efficient hybrid; The holding on versus the letting go. You’d be surprised at some of the positive outcomes. But naturally, of course, chances are you’re heartbroken, broke, and crying pools of tears right now racking your brain thinking “WHY DIDN’T I LISTEN TO MY HEAD?!?!?!” We blame the heart, persecute its stubbornness, and ridicule its ignorance. What we choose to forget is that sense of freedom, that happiness, that pride, that stability, that confidence in ourselves we felt for that exact moment when we chose our hearts over our heads.
Let’s face it, we are a human race built of cowards when it comes to making tumultuous life-altering decisions. We always want to think ahead, think what’s best, what’s safe, what is considered the norm to society (because no one wants to look like a fool in front of everyone else, you might just be dubbed ‘clinically insane’). And yes, the head may have your best interests in the long run, but you will always be left with that nagging thought of the I wonder’s and the What if’s. What ends up happening are regrets of not taking that rocky, more faulty, route because we all strive to experience the unknown. It’s like a question with no full answer. Left unsatisfied, this is our demise.
The heart says, a day never promises tomorrow. I’m going to tell you now, as if you didn’t already know, the heart doesn’t always have your best interests at hand, instead it gives you lessons. It allows you to fall and is forgiving if you break it. It mends and let’s you fall even harder only to return to you more lessons learned. Your ego is bruised, reputation possibly shattered but not once were you held down by chains of not knowing. As you get up from these falls and rise above these lessons your heart only grows stronger and pushes you further up to take those chances because they may never come again. Your passion, your drive, your hunger have sufficed, which leads to a life fulfilled.
Life is all about taking risks, trusting yourself enough to know that your heart may break you, but only momentarily, that the outcome is out of mind’s reach because, ultimately, the heart is driven on emotions of passion, strength, perseverance, and love, emotions that the mind has no place in.
“Close your eyes, stand backwards off the edge of something high, spread your arms and fall…feel the wind blow against your face, the ground goes away and wings start to grow from your back…you’re flying, flying away and you’re free~ exhale, that is life…the crappy feelings are the ground…but you are you. i hope that one day you’ll find your wings, they need not grow because you already have it, you just need to find it…” — Alex “Beeej” Lim (May 6, 1985 - March 19, 2007)
It’s been six whole years my dear friend. I hope you found the peace, love, and happiness that you so willingly searched for on this earth. You’ve made the definition of a good friend hard to come by. I don’t really have the words, that I used to so effortlessly write, to describe both the happiness and struggle I have gone through to get me where I am today. But I can say that every time I’ve been at the end of my threshold, ready to give up, I am reminded with that excerpt you wrote me up top, that it’s alright to fall because I have enough strength to find my way back up to the top. I never realized it before but I want to thank you for being my wings. When all the world has stopped and I no longer have the refuge I am looking for, I know that you are somewhere present flying me back to try life all over again. Love and miss you lots!